7 Defense Mechanisms That Destroy Intimacy

1. Stonewalling.

Shut down. Refuse to engage. Safe for you. Devastating for them.

1. Deflection.

"What about when YOU..." The conversation never gets anywhere.

1. Projection.

Accuse them of what you're actually doing.

1. Minimizing.

"It's not a big deal." Maybe not to you.

1. Intellectualizing.

Analyze it to avoid feeling it.

1. Denial.

Nothing is wrong when everything is wrong.

1. Contempt.

Eye rolls. Sarcasm. Superiority. The most corrosive of all.

Defense mechanisms protect you from pain. But they also protect you from connection.